Jay Mathews started an interesting discussion on his blog this week—should parents stay home while their seniors visit the colleges that accepted them? As Jay describes:
“I know we are paying the bill, but aren’t they likely to do best at a school that appeals to their tastes rather than ours? Shouldn’t they be allowed to soak up the ambiance by themselves, without us butting into conversations and offering, without invitation, our own reflections on each school?”
I’m all for parents resisting the urge to take over the college process for their kids. But here’s a suggested middle ground.
Students, invite your parents to visit your colleges with you. Where you spend the next four years should be your decision, but picking the school is the fun part. Let your parents enjoy it with you. It won’t be long before you’re out of the house (and into a dorm) and you’ve got the rest of your life to live out from under their watch. And if your parents are paying the bill, they really do deserve to at least see what they’re paying for and even give their opinion about it.
And parents, while you’re making these final visits, take a back seat. Let your kids ask the questions, decide what to see, and maybe even branch off without you for a bit. Don’t expect them to make pro and con lists or to arrive at their decision exactly as you would. Just have some fun and enjoy seeing them excited about their choices.
Seems to me there’s no reason you can’t enjoy this together.