Whether you need a teacher to help you with a concept or a tech support staffer to help you fix your computer, it’s almost always okay to ask for help. But how you ask sets the tone for the type of help that you receive.
You can put the person on the defensive by saying things like:
I’m really frustrated…
I did exactly what you told me to do…
This is all very confusing…
I don’t know why that didn’t work before…
Hopefully, this won’t happen again…
Or you can get them on your team by saying things like:
I’m so sorry to ask you this…
I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong…
Is there something I should be doing differently?…
That makes so much more sense now…
Thank you so much..
I really appreciate your help…
You’re far more likely to get your problem solved when you put the helper on your team than you will when he or she is on the defensive.